Happy Thanks Giving
Click on the image above to play the video (flip your phone to widescreen if you want image to be bigger)
HAPPY THANKS GIVING
I hope that those of you who celebrated Thanksgiving had a wonderful time with your friends and family. I certainly did.
As I have mentioned many times in these musings, gratitude might be the most powerful of our human emotions. In both science and spiritual practice, it is abundantly clear that being grateful, celebrating what we have vs what we want, and concerning ourselves with the things we can control (rather than the things we cannot) makes us happier, smarter, and healthier.
So, why is this hard then? Why do anger, division, and evidence of ingratitude fill up the conversations all around us?
Well. That's the question, isn't it?
But, for once, I do know the answer. There is no uncertainty here. The answer is as hard as it is true—and it can only be found inside the one who is asking.
Most of the problems around us are exacerbated, amplified, and made worse by the illusion that OTHER people can solve OUR problems. Of course, we'd like to live in a society that is gracious to our neighbors, generous to the suffering of others, and tolerant and patient during times of trouble. Of course, there are many times in life when we need material help, but that is not my point. Rather, I’m speaking of our tendency to look far beyond ourselves for answers deep inside ourselves. That is the source of so much pain, division, and anger.
My own journey around the notion of responsibility for many fo the problems facing the world was arrested, disrupted, and changed forever when I read Jonathan Sacks' remarkable book "The Politics of Hope" around 1997.
“Our hopes are invested in governments, from which we demand more and in our more somber moments anticipate less. At the core of our culture is an echoing discrepancy between what we believe and what we know. We believe that we are faced with unprecedented choices. We know that too much of what happens to us is beyond our control, the result of economic choices or political decisions taken far away by people we will never meet nor be able to identify. Beyond the narrowing circle of the self lies a world in which we are not the makers but the made. This is the genesis of despair.”
Wow is all I can say.....the words "beyond the narrowing circle of self lies a world in which we are not the makers but the made. That is the genesis of despair". Those words have reverberated in my soul for over 25 years and have in no small part been a source of inspiration to resist blame, elevate my own responsibility, and live therefore in a way to helps expand, my own circle of self. The source of so much anger today, I believe, is that too many people, sadly, are feeling suffocated by their own shrinking sense of self.
The more we practice inner peace and true gratitude for the wonder of life, the more that energy will help us and then help others. The opposite also seems to hold true, which I see evidence of in our public discourse.
I wrote “Happy Thanks Giving” in three words intentionally. I find it instructive to unpack the line we all said this entire week. Happy. Why happy? Well, we do often feel happy when we give.
But what about thanks? Well, we GIVE thanks. We don't GET thanks. Gratitude is about giving—about showing and telling how much we appreciate those around us and life itself.
Most of us love the Thanksgiving weekend for its commitment to family and gratitude. We say thanks. For being together. For having food, friends, and family around the table. For the sheer love of just being. There are no material gifts. Just spiritual ones. No musts. No expectations. Other than showing up and showing some love.
I wish we could keep this going. Have a whole year of thanks giving. Practice the Thanksgiving attitude more than occasionally. I certainly will commit myself to try. And like all things we want to commit to, it needs structure and process. Yes, I know. It sounds boring. But, it's true—it is not something that will happen automatically.
Here are my top 3 for being more grateful.
Meditation practice - commit to 10 minutes a day in a quiet place. Shut out the outer world. Focusing on your consciousness alone. And your breadth. That often creates, at least for me, a better condition for gratitude to flow.
Journaling - I guess writing these newsletters is one form. But others write down every day before they go to bed or when they wake up. Just note things today that you are grateful for. There are. of course, other more traditional forms of "prayers' which are wonderful, too. Before meals, bedtimes, handwashing, etc. Tie it to another habit that is natural to your daily routine—a habit-making tip my wife, Jessica, taught me.
Nature. My father for years and my wonderful friend Michael more recently have helped me appreciate nature and the beauty around me. I am still working on it. But if you walk outside, just watch the trees, the sky, the birds, and all the wonder around you. It is quite spectacular and can help instantly put our feelings into context and just appreciate the wonder right around us.
I am linking to five things this week. All short.
First, is a link to the Do Lectures 23 laws of interest. I thought many were brilliant and life-assuring.
Second, in Bill Maher's last New Rules for this year, he riffed around the "New Normies". As usual, it's funny, but also super important. We all should really "rally the normies and bully the bullies". Indeed. As Bill says: "Let's keep this going".
Third, Yuval Noah Harari answered a great question about how to better get to know yourself. The notion of continuous time is important. I need to make a note to self. I practice daily forms of meditation, therapy, music, and sports. That's good. But I do none of them for weeks. Ever. That's on my list!
Fourth, if you want to do deeper on Jonathan Sacks' ideas of a politics of hope and how this differs from our current "politics of anger" there is a great animated short video here that I wish was more broadly viewed. Think of it as a politics of gratitude!
Fifth, my friend Terry Torok and friends have developed Graticube, a great game you could buy and use as a reminder and create fun all around the idea of gratitude. Perfect game for the upcoming holidays with family. You can support their project here and buy the game starting December 12 here.
Gratitude is the way. It's contagious, it's abundant. And it's free. The more we all put gratitude in the Universe, the more humanity will prosper. I am convinced of that.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for committing to a more gracious, grateful, and gorgeous future.
Have a great week!
